Pregnancy of the Heart

Do you know what happens when you tell people you are going to adopt, especially if you don't already have biological children?

They start in with the stories of all the people they know that are now pregnant since they decided to adopt.  Literally if I had $10 for everytime that has been told to me, this adoption would be close to being fully funded.  I know it happens and I even have friends it has happened to.  I think for me the reason I find this almost offensive is that it somehow lends itself to the idea that this is some secret desire that adoptive families have.  Nothing could be further from the truth for me.  Adoption for us wasn't a second best option but rather God's best for us and for that I am so grateful. 

I literally still look at my children that are 12 and 10 years old and wonder how I got so blessed to be their mama.  And the same goes for Brenda.  Only God could look the whole world over and pick me to be her mama.  How blessed I am!

Well, that went down a rabbit trail I wasn't really planning.  I started that story because just this week my mom told me she had a dream that I was pregnant.  My response was something along the lines of "Please don't go there because y'all would need to commit Cliff and I if that were to happen."  I love babies but I really don't want to start back over.  She goes on to explain that I am pregnant just not in my womb. 

That is the part of adoption that very few people understand.  We adoptive mamas get pregnant in our hearts.  The hardest part is that our gestational period isn't usually the typical 40 weeks.  We don't have a protruding belly telling us the time is drawing near.  (Well, some of us have protruding bellies but they don't really mean anything other than we like to eat!)  In reality, many times we don't really know how far along in the heart pregnancy we are.  Such was the case with me.

Who knew that I was over 8 months heart pregnant with Brenda!  (Only God knew!)

So you can imagine my surprise at around 1 am this morning when I opened my email to read a message from our lawyer that said we should make preparations to travel.  We will either be in court in two or three weeks from today!    So then, my water broke! 

All I could do was sit at my desk at cry.  I was so overwhelmed at the goodness of my God.  I have been hoping for a September court date and never even thought of an August one.  I just told someone how I had a feeling it was going to be in September.  God must have been smiling with amuzement at what we were about to learn. 

Pray for us!  Pray that God would prepare our family for Brenda and prepare Brenda for us.  We love her so much and can't wait to be reunited with her!

Also, pray for our yard sale this weekend.  We need no rain and lots of customers!  We want a complete sell out!