Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Mommy Woes!

I was talking to one of my friends last night. I was concerned about her because she did not seem like herself. As I listened to her, it quickly occurred to me that she had the mommy woes. This is a condition that most moms of little ones suffer from but a condition we rarely talk about. I don't know if we are ashamed and feel that no one will understand or if we are just overcome with guilt. Our guilt usually stems from our desire to be a mom and stay home with our little ones and once that happens wishing your life was different because it is so stinking hard. Believe me there is nothing quite as heavy as mommy guilt.

You may be asking what the symptoms of this condition are to determine if you have it or not. I have listed a few below:

  • your big accomplishment of the day is getting dressed
  • the days of going to the bathroom by yourself are long gone
  • you mainly speak babytalk
  • you can't remember the last time you had a night out with your girlfriends
  • you can distinguish cries and have gotten comfortable ignoring several of them
  • on more than one occasion you have been frightened because you sound just like your mother
  • getting dressed up is actually wearing a bra and a t-shirt without stains
  • your new perfume is spit-up

Well, now that you know what your condition is what do you do. The first thing is to know that even though you feel all alone, you are not. This is a condition that most women suffer from. And the reality is that it will be over all too quickly (even though you think the day will never end) and you will actually look back and miss this time in your life.

I know that sounds crazy and unbelievable but I promise it will happen. I remember having to literally strap my son onto my body just so I could do laundry. There were many days that I thought I was going to loose my mind. Now he is eight and I can't even pick him up anymore. I sure do wish that I could hold him in my lap one more time. I can not even begin to count the number of times that I put my dishes back in the cabinet after my daughter crawled in and pulled everything out. But what I wouldn't give to open the cabinet door and see her chubby little cheeks smiling at me. And don't even get me started on the rocking and singing lullablies. I am going to have to stop this because I am getting teary eyed! I tell you it all passes by way too fast.

Secondly, and the most important thing is to keep pursuing God even though it may be in 1 minute intervals. Read His Word and take it to heart. Apply it to your life. I promise this is your most important life line. It will help you to be a better wife, mother, daughter, and friend.

Lastly, schedule yourself some time with your girlfriends. If you do not have someone that can watch your children then plan a playdate. You will enjoy the fellowship with friends and your children will enjoy playing with someone.

Don't loose heart, this too will pass. You will survive this time in your life despite how you felt when you woke up this morning. You are a great mom! You can do this!

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Why Ladies, Why?

I probably shouldn't even include the female gender in my assumption, but I do have a feeling on this one that I am not alone.

I want to take you back to my last week. Just to give you an up close look into the craziness of who I am. My birthday was this past week and so earlier in the week my husband and I had a conversation that went something like this..."I don't really know what to get you for your birthday this year. And you know what I usually do when I don't know what to get." I replied "Yes, you usually buy me Brighton jewerly or a Vera Bradley purse and I do not need either one." To which he replies, "Yes and I usually spend way too much ." I said, "Well, I don't really know what to tell you because I don't have anything on my mind that I have been wanting. I would rather that you did not get me anything than to spend money on something I don't need." And then we start talking about something else.

Well, Saturday came (my birthday) and I have to say that I was lonely. I woke up in my house all alone. My daughter was at my sister's house and my son was at a friend's house and my husband was at a men's conference. My husband came in after I went to bed and then left before I woke up. I will be honest and tell you that I was hoping to walk into the kitchen to see a big bouquet of flowers and a card sitting on the counter. Instead all I saw were dirty dishes in the sink.

I then headed toward our bathroom because I thought surely he had some acknowledgement of my birthday sitting on the counter or something. No, nothing was there. Mid morning he did call me from the conference and wish me a happy birthday. I did think that was very thoughtful and I was appreciative.

Well, our Saturday progressed and we were both headed in different directions accomplishing our tasks.

Finally around 4:00 we are both home together. We walks over to me and hands me a card and a bag from a store. Inside was a costume necklace and earrings in the same color that he gave me for Valentine's Day. And may I add that I only own one thing that color and it is a shirt that I bought after he gave the first necklace on Valentine's Day.

Now let me just pause for a minute because some of you are probably thinking how ungrateful I am and that you would love for your husbands to pick you out a necklace and blah, blah, blah. I know I have already heard this from my sister because her husband is not the gift giving type.

I was not upset over the necklace. I was upset over the fact that I know he did not purchase the necklace until about 30 minutes before he gave it to me. And did he not know that he had already given me a necklace that looked very similar. Did he not know that I don't really wear that color. Did he not know that I saw him writing in my card two minutes before he handed it to me. I just felt forgotten and I was not happy about it. My family celebrated my birthday, but it was just not the same as my husband.

Well, in good ole fashion, I made him pay. He received the silent treatment and the cold shoulder. Finally that night before going to bed we talked about it but I was not through being mad at him because I felt he was not sorry enough for his actions. (Ha, Ha) You can laugh, but you know what I am talking about. He has not suffered enough for how he made me feel.

He honestly did not understand why I was upset and I honestly did not understand why he did not understand why I was upset!

So, I went to bed mad. Yes, I did!

I know the scripture about not letting the sun go down on your wrath. I know, I KNOW!
I did get up this morning and apologize. I was very thankful that the Lord granted me another morning so I could ask for forgiveness. And then, it all became clear to me.
  1. The main thing my husband heard from our conversation earlier in the week was "Don't get me anything."
  2. He was proud of himself for picking out a necklace and earrings. I mean I told him not to get me anything, so the fact that he got me something was a huge bonus.
  3. I vaguely remember saying the words "don't get me anything" but secretly meant read my mind and buy me something that I don't even know I want.
  4. My feelings about the conversation earlier in the week were you should know me so well and love me so much that you do not even need to ask. Just surprise me! My thoughts were ... I will not tell you this because you should just figure this out...your gift will not be just a gift but an expression of how much you love and adore me.

With my feelings and secret mind language, how could the man win?

He couldn't because my expectations were unrealistic. He has not been given the gift of mind reading. Even after years of being married, we just do not think alike. And here is the kicker, that is the way God designed us.

So, what did I learn from this whole thing?

Well, I learned that communication is key. I should not say things that I do not mean because my husband never received his secret meaning of my words decoder ring. I was also reminded that my anger hurts me alot worse than the other person. It is really not worth hanging on to.

So, I guess you could say that my birthday present this year was a little wisdom!

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Things That Make Me Happy!

Tonight I was treated by my mother and mother-in-law to dinner and window shopping. We had such a great time at dinner. They let me pick the restaurant since my birthday is coming up. I picked Olive Garden since my hubby does not like it and I rarely ever get to go. I tried the new Grilled Chicken Crostata and it was delicious. It was as good as they make it look in the commercial.

We left the restaurant and headed to a nearby shopping center to walk around. We went in this great new store called Charming Charlie. I just love it. It is full of costume jewerly, purses, shoes and basically all things girls love. The best part is that the store is organized by color. All the orange stuff is together and then you move to purple, then black, etc. It is fabulous! I can not believe it, but we left there without buying anything. Oh, I am still thinking about this one necklace set I saw but I am trying to be good.

We then went to Dillards. I am not a huge fan of The Dillards because I just simply can not pay $90 for a shirt. My mother-in-law loves Dillards which was easily confirmed when the sales associate knew her by name. She does not pay $90 for a shirt either but somehow she is able to find things really cheap in Dillards. It really is a gift I am learning.

We walked around looking at clothes and laughing at various crazy things. Then we headed downstairs to leave. Before leaving we headed to look at the pajamas. You are not going to believe what I found in Dillards basically just waiting on me to take them home. Oh yes, I am wearing them right now as I type this. I found a navy capri pajama set regularly priced $70, can you believe someone actually pays that for pajamas. Not me sister because I got them for .........drum role please..........$1.99.

A $1.99!!!!!!

I didn't even know they sold anything for that price. And they are cute. I feel really special sittin here in them. I literally wanted to skip around in the store.

My mother-in-law was checking out and I walked up beyond excited about my bargain. She said "Oh, let me get those for you after all it is your birthday."

The cashier chimmed in "You are such a big spender!" Of course, this cashier also knew my mother-in-law by name and even had her phone number so she could call her when things got marked down again.

We spent the rest of our time giggling and looking for other things marked $1.99. We didn't find anything else but had a great time hunting.

I had such a great time with my mothers. God has truly blessed me beyond measure!

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009



Just thought I needed to get that out of the way.

I am wishing that I had stayed true to my original plan of shredding that started back on May 1st because surely by now I would look a little slimmer and toner.

I am going to have lunch tomorrow with the ladies I use to work with. I have not seen most of them in a year. This makes me wish I had stayed true to atleast one of the fitness goals/plans I started over the past year. Oh well, tonight I am just trying not to get in my car and head to the gas station to pick up one of my best friends, Little Debbie. She and I have been through a lot together!

I just finished a great book tonight. The book is Same Kind of Different As Me. It is a wonderful, fabulous, moving must read. I stayed up until 2:35am last night reading. I could not put it down. My t-shirt became by tissue as I could have cried a river and did cry a small creek. Oh, it was wonderful. I would highly recommend it to you and it is a true story.

This summer has flown by. I can not believe that my children will be back in school in two weeks. I feel pressure to make some really awesome end of summer memories so they will have something really awesome to share when the teacher asks "What did you do over the summer?" I feel pressure, but that does not always equal great ideas.

I am loving the new worship CD by Travis Cottrell entitled Jesus Saves. Basically, it is all I listen to when I am in the car. I decided to give it to my mom for her birthday since she and I went to the live recording of the CD back in January. I gave it to her and told her what it was. Then a couple of days later she called and told me that she loved it and that it sounded a lot like what we went to that church and heard. I started laughing so hard. Obviously, she was totally ignoring me when I gave it to her. Apparently a mother's ability to tune out her children never goes away!

I could continue with more random thoughts, but I will save those for later!

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Sunday, July 5, 2009

To Shred or Not to Shred...

Or the title could be To Die or Not to Die. They are both pretty much the same. Just in case you are wondering what this Shred stuff is, let me explain.

Back in April I read a post by Vicki Courtney where she shared about a new workout she was doing. I think I have said in earlier posts that I hate to sweat and I hate to exercise.

I mean let me just get real with you!

Her post sparked my curiosity because many people signed up in the comments to be Shred Heads with her. And the beauty of it is the tape just lasts 20 minutes.

So I reasoned with myself that I could do anything for 2o minutes and I went and bought the DVD. It promises visible results in 3o days if you do it daily. I was going to the beach on May 31st so I decided to start on May 1st.

I just knew that by May 31st I would be mistaken for a bathing suit model, but I was willing! Ha, Ha!

Let me take you back to the morning of May 1st. It is forever etched in my brain because it is the nearest I have come to death in quite some time. I was home alone because my children were still in school and my husband was at work. I can not remember all the steps from memory but I do remember yelling at the TV on more than one occasion.

After completing the workout, I collasped and laid with my head hanging off the ottoman. I laid in the position for several minutes. I then made my way to my room where I collasped on the bed. I mustered up the strength to call my husband and tell him goodbye and that I loved him. I kid you not!

Well, I stayed committed to Shred for I think 5 days. Then Grandmaw's knees began to give her trouble and it was real easy to just stop.

Now I have some friends who are doing this and doing great with it and well, they make me sick. They have gotten me thinking about Shredding again. My downfall is lack of discipline to do something that I hate. So, I thought if maybe I gave a little shred update every so often it might help me to stay committed.

I would also love it if you would like to join me. We could help encourage one another. So leave me a comment if you are interested in trying this. Also, you should know that if you do this and it is easy for you, that I probably won't like you very much. Or atleast for my sake act like it is a near death experience.

I look forward to hearing from you!

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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Well, Look Who Has Decided to Come Back to Blog World!

It appears from the dates of my last posts that I decided to take May and June off. It really wasn't planned out. Life just got a little hectic. I have never been one to wish my life away, but I do have to admit that I was really glad to see June go. For some reason we decided to plan two vacations and add VBS in between them. It was fun by exhausting!

So, what have I been doing lately? My first answer is a lot of laundry. But that is not really fun to talk about. So on the fun front, I went to the movies this week. My hubby and I saw The Proposal. It was really funny. We went on Thursday night because our kids happened to be at their grandparents house. We grabbed a quick burger at Five Guys, which was delicious, and then headed to the movies. We were running a couple of minutes late, but I figured it wouldn't really be that crowded.

Well, I was wrong!

Apparently, everyone wanted to go to the movies on Thursday night. The line to buy tickets took forever, Then the theater was full. I walked up the aisle looking for seats, but there were not two together.

Guess where we ended up the handicap aisle. You know the one where you have a seat and then a big empty space for a wheel chair and then another seat. Now let me say that I only sat there because the whole row was empty and I would have gotten up if someone in a wheelchair came in.

The hubs had to stop and get popcorn even though we had just finished eating. It is some rule he has that he can't watch a movie without popcorn. Anyway he just started laughing when I waved him down in the dark.

Through out the movie, he would look my way and wave. If we both stretched our arms out, our fingertips would touch. Now isn't that romantic!

Well, I hope you all have a great 4th!

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