Once the courts come back in session, they will have all new Judges. Every two or three years the Judges are reassigned and this is the summer for that to happen. You can also be in prayer for the new Judges. We pray for fair Judges that look at the needs of the children.
So that is all we really have to report right now. It is hard waiting but there is not one thing we can do to speed the wait up. The not knowing when you might be going is what makes it really difficult. But the fall will be here in a few months and I guess that isn't really that long to wait. (I don't know that we are going in the fall just me hoping!)
We did go see the farewell concert for Uganda Thunder on Sunday. Whenever I visit with someone from Uganda it makes me miss Brenda so much more. Something about hearing the accent makes me recall the words Brenda said when we were together. On our last day together, she started singing some of her songs from school for us. I wish I had them recorded but every time we would try to video her she would suddenly get quite and just smile.
After we left the concert, we started talking in the car about Brenda coming home. We dreamed about what it will be like at the airport. Amelia has designated herself as the "Airport Party Planner"! And she said we really needed to let her know when this was going to happen because she had so much to do to get ready! We just laughed and said we wish we knew! It was fun to think about what we should wear, as if that is important, but it is fun to dream about the day. Should we all match and if so what should we wear? I think it was decided that at least Brenda and I should match since we will be the two coming home together. My thought was that I won't be hard to miss...look for the crazy haired woman crying like a baby! I get teary eyed now just thinking about it.
This has been quite a journey. I would like to think that we are nearing the end but in reality we could be at the beginning or middle...only God knows. This experience has revealed so much about myself. The other night in our small group I made the comment that I think I need Brenda more that she needs me. God has used that little girl to teach me so much about His love for me. If you don't know me personally, you wouldn't know that I led the women's ministry at my previous church for 10 years. I love leading women to pursue a deeper relationship with the Lord.
I have spoken on numerous occasions to groups of women about God's love for them. I wanted them to know just how crazy God was and is for them. The problem was I had a hard time living in His love and believing in His love for myself. Oh I could tell you about it all day long, but when it came time for me to live it well that was different.
I have gained a greater understanding of God's heart for me through this journey. We took Dum Dum suckers when we went to Uganda. The children there call them sweeties. We had a giant bag because we were going to give them to the kids at Brenda's school. It didn't take long for Brenda to spot this big bag in our room our first night together. I gave her one and she was so excited. Over the next few days she kept asking for sweeties. One day I finally had to tell her that we couldn't have anymore for now. In reality, I wanted to give her the whole giant bag of sweeties and tell her they were all hers. But that wasn't what was best for her. I love her more than she can comprehend but I also only want what is best for her. And sometimes what is best is "No".
God reminded me of this little "lesson" this week. I can't even begin to comprehend the love that He has for me. And because I am His child, He only wants what is best for me. Sometimes what is best is for Him to say yes but other times what is best is for Him to say no. And there are even times when the best is for Him to say wait! And when there is a no or a wait it is not because He doesn't love but because what we are asking for at the moment isn't the best there is for us. And in His time He has something so much better waiting for us!
