Little Pink Purse

Next week, people I know will be at Brenda's orphanage.  I am a little teary eyed because in some crazy way it makes me feel closer to her.  We got her a little gift that will be delivered to her.  It was a little pink purse.  I had a hard time thinking what we should put in it.  In reality, I wanted my current family of four to crawl in the purse and go be with her. 

Oh Lord, make to soon!

But since we couldn't fit, we put pens, bracelets, a necklace, a bouncy ball, a notepad and a pair of flip flops.  I hope the zipper holds.  And to top it off, I put in two blow pops.  I don't know if she has ever had gum but I do know how much she loved dum dum suckers.  So, she is really going to love the blow pops.  And we also sent a few pictures and stickers.  Above all the stuff, I hope she knows how much we love her and how crazy we are about her. 

Prayer Request:  There is an important meeting taking place on Monday in Uganda relating to our adoption.  Will you join us in praying that this meeting goes well and it accomplishes its purpose.  Thank you!

What's Happening?

I have been holding off posting hoping that I would have more to report.  Our lawyer is working to get the documentation needed so we can file in court.  We are praying that our case can be filed with the courts before they close July 15th for a month long break.  We would love it if you would join us in praying for this to happen. 

Once the courts come back in session, they will have all new Judges.  Every two or three years the Judges are reassigned and this is the summer for that to happen.  You can also be in prayer for the new Judges.  We pray for fair Judges that look at the needs of the children. 

So that is all we really have to report right now.  It is hard waiting but there is not one thing we can do to speed the wait up.  The not knowing when you might be going is what makes it really difficult.  But the fall will be here in a few months and I guess that isn't really that long to wait.  (I don't know that we are going in the fall just me hoping!)

We did go see the farewell concert for Uganda Thunder on Sunday.  Whenever I visit with someone from Uganda it makes me miss Brenda so much more.  Something about hearing the accent makes me recall the words Brenda said when we were together.  On our last day together, she started singing some of her songs from school for us.  I wish I had them recorded but every time we would try to video her she would suddenly get quite and just smile.

After we left the concert, we started talking in the car about Brenda coming home.  We dreamed about what it will be like at the airport.  Amelia has designated herself as the "Airport Party Planner"!  And she said we really needed to let her know when this was going to happen because she had so much to do to get ready!  We just laughed and said we wish we knew!  It was fun to think about what we should wear, as if that is important, but it is fun to dream about the day.  Should we all match and if so what should we wear?  I think it was decided that at least Brenda and I should match since we will be the two coming home together.  My thought was that I won't be hard to miss...look for the crazy haired woman crying like a baby!  I get teary eyed now just thinking about it. 

This has been quite a journey.  I would like to think that we are nearing the end but in reality we could be at the beginning or middle...only God knows.  This experience has revealed so much about myself.  The other night in our small group I made the comment that I think I need Brenda more that she needs me.  God has used that little girl to teach me so much about His love for me.  If you don't know me personally, you wouldn't know that I led the women's ministry at my previous church for 10 years.  I love leading women to pursue a deeper relationship with the Lord. 

I have spoken on numerous occasions to groups of women about God's love for them.  I wanted them to know just how crazy God was and is for them.  The problem was I had a hard time living in His love and believing in His love for myself.  Oh I could tell you about it all day long, but when it came time for me to live it well that was different. 

I have gained a greater understanding of God's heart for me through this journey.  We took Dum Dum suckers when we went to Uganda.  The children there call them sweeties.  We had a giant bag because we were going to give them to the kids at Brenda's school.  It didn't take long for Brenda to spot this big bag in our room our first night together.  I gave her one and she was so excited.  Over the next few days she kept asking for sweeties.  One day I finally had to tell her that we couldn't have anymore for now.  In reality, I wanted to give her the whole giant bag of sweeties and tell her they were all hers.  But that wasn't what was best for her.  I love her more than she can comprehend but I also only want what is best for her.  And sometimes what is best is "No". 

God reminded me of this little "lesson" this week.  I can't even begin to comprehend the love that He has for me.  And because I am His child, He only wants what is best for me.  Sometimes what is best is for Him to say yes but other times what is best is for Him to say no.  And there are even times when the best is for Him to say wait!  And when there is a no or a wait it is not because He doesn't love but because what we are asking for at the moment isn't the best there is for us.  And in His time He has something so much better waiting for us!

Do We Care?

This video speaks so loudly to me.  Maybe it is because I have a daugher half the world away from me that I want to have home.  Or maybe it is because there have been so many times in my life that I have been indifferent.  I have learned this though...

We Are Here On This Earth For God's Glory! 

It really isn't about us.  We work so hard to make it about ourselves but it never is.  When we are finally able to grasp this truth, I believe that is when true living begins.  It really is about dying to ourselves and living for Him.  And the reality is when we die to ourselves, that is when we are the happiest because we see there is so much more to life than our present circumstances. 

We Have Progress People!

I am excited to tell you that today we wired our deposit to our new lawyer in Uganda and I emailed her our homestudy so she can get busy preparing our affidavits for court.

I am so excited to have some progress to report.  We still feel that it will be sometime in the fall before we can go get our girl but at least we are moving forward.  Which brings me to some other exciting news...

This week I will be posting how you can be a real "piece" in Brenda's story.  Sorry to keep you in suspense but that is all I can tell you now.

Oh Ruby!

I am one of those crazy people that names their cars and my current vehicle is named Ruby.  Before Ruby there was Bessie and she was special.  Bessie hauled us around for about nine years and that old girl saw some stuff!  My children grew up crawling over her seats, spilling juice all over her and who knows what else. 

Three years ago Bessie lost her will to haul us around and it became evident that while we loved her deeply, it did not make sense to keep putting money into her.  I am not lying when I tell you that there were tears shed when we left her at the dealership.  It felt like we were leaving behind a family member and it didn't help any when the salesman said she would most likely be sent to the scrap yard.  Oh Bessie, you were good to us old girl!

The day we left Bessie, we drove away in her next of kin Ruby.  Ruby was the same make and color as Bessie only a little newer.  We thought it was just meant to be.  We just knew that Ruby would be as good to us as Bessie had been. 

There is this thing that happens to most adopting families once they start their journey to adopt...things all of the sudden just decide to break or quit working.  Ask a family that is adopting and believe me they will have some stories.  It is the battle that is raging that we feel but just can't see with our eyes.  We know that God is for the orphan and the enemy is not.  He is a lion who prowls around looking for who he can devour.

Well, tonight it happened to us.  Ruby decided that she was going to start having some issues.  Two years ago when we were planning our first trip to Uganda, Ruby's transmission went out.  Needless to say, most of the money we had been saving up had to go to repair her.  Tonight, I was over her.  I wanted to take her to the scrap yard, only we can't because we need her. 

As tears started to fill my eyes, all I could think about was how unfair it is that we are having to spend money on a hunk of metal when there is a little girl we love waiting on us.  It isn't fair!  I am happy to say that I didn't stay there long.  I was quickly reminded of my devotional this morning.  I read the passage where Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers.  The verse that stood out to me was when he tells his brothers what was intended for evil God can turn it into good. 

So that is what I am going to focus on...my God can bring good from this.  I will press into Him and take it one step at a time. 

Adoption Update

This week we sent this picture to Brenda.  We want her to know that we miss and love her very much! 

We have some news regarding our adoption of Brenda...

It appears that we are having to start over again.  What that means is that we are having to find a new lawyer, get an investigation done, and get all our documents notarized again.  It was a little hard to accept this at first.  We believe that we have found a new lawyer to work with and are looking for an investigator.  Luckily, I have all of our documents still in my notebook from our trip to Africa so it will not be too difficult to get that portion done. 

The most challenging part that lies ahead is the fundraising.  The money that we had raised last year was spent on lawyer fees, airfare, lodging and immunizations.  So, we are pretty much starting over again in this area as well. 

I loved what I read this week written by Beth Moore.  She wrote that when you have a mountain in front of you to ask God to move the mountain or to give you the strength to climb it so you can see His transcended glory.   

We know that money is not an issue to God since He owns it all anyway.  So we are just trusting Him to show us what we need to do to get our girl home!

There have been many days over the last several months where we have felt like quitting.  This has been a really long, hard journey.  But without exception, every time we have felt that way shortly after we have received some type of confirmation to keep on going.  And probably the biggest confirmation we have received is her name.  In Uganda, you are given a name that has meaning.  It may have something to do with how you were born, the season in which you were born, etc.  Brenda's birth name is Tibihabya.  Can you guess what it means?

Her name means...WHATEVER HAPPENS NEVER QUIT!

Did you just get goose bumps?  I still get them every time I say it. 

Only God knew that the name given to her on the day that she took her first breath, would be the encouragement that two people living half a world away would need to continue in the fight before them to become her parents!

An Update

"I miss her" was the whisper of my heart to God as I sat listening to the Suubi tribe sing at Dollywood.  Tears began to sting my eyes as I tried to blink them away. 

Everyday I think of her, but somedays I miss her so bad that my heart physically hurts.  And when I am around another child that shares her same accent and ebony skin, well my heart hurts for her. 

We are still waiting and it is not easy.  I want so badly to get on an airplane and go get our girl but I know that is not possible.  So, we continue to wait.

Over the past few months we have wanted to give up and say enough, but every time we have that feeling God sends some sort of message that we are to continue on.  Just a few weeks ago we were once again at this point.  There has been no movement in our case and it really just doesn't appear that there is going to be any.  I had shared with my family, through tears, that this was the hardest thing in my life I had ever done and that I just wanted to give up but I felt that God was saying to continue on.  A couple of days later, we received a picture of her through email.  We can't give up! 

I can't close my eyes and pretend she doesn't exist.  She is real and the reality is that there are thousands more little precious faces just like her in need of a family to love them.  And my response is "well I'm here let me love her, but the reply is wait!"

 And so we will continue to wait because the story that God is writing it bigger and better than anything that I could dream up.  After all we are here for the glory of His renown and I want my life to exclaim His glory!