Do We Care?

This video speaks so loudly to me.  Maybe it is because I have a daugher half the world away from me that I want to have home.  Or maybe it is because there have been so many times in my life that I have been indifferent.  I have learned this though...

We Are Here On This Earth For God's Glory! 

It really isn't about us.  We work so hard to make it about ourselves but it never is.  When we are finally able to grasp this truth, I believe that is when true living begins.  It really is about dying to ourselves and living for Him.  And the reality is when we die to ourselves, that is when we are the happiest because we see there is so much more to life than our present circumstances. 

We Have Progress People!

I am excited to tell you that today we wired our deposit to our new lawyer in Uganda and I emailed her our homestudy so she can get busy preparing our affidavits for court.

I am so excited to have some progress to report.  We still feel that it will be sometime in the fall before we can go get our girl but at least we are moving forward.  Which brings me to some other exciting news...

This week I will be posting how you can be a real "piece" in Brenda's story.  Sorry to keep you in suspense but that is all I can tell you now.

Oh Ruby!

I am one of those crazy people that names their cars and my current vehicle is named Ruby.  Before Ruby there was Bessie and she was special.  Bessie hauled us around for about nine years and that old girl saw some stuff!  My children grew up crawling over her seats, spilling juice all over her and who knows what else. 

Three years ago Bessie lost her will to haul us around and it became evident that while we loved her deeply, it did not make sense to keep putting money into her.  I am not lying when I tell you that there were tears shed when we left her at the dealership.  It felt like we were leaving behind a family member and it didn't help any when the salesman said she would most likely be sent to the scrap yard.  Oh Bessie, you were good to us old girl!

The day we left Bessie, we drove away in her next of kin Ruby.  Ruby was the same make and color as Bessie only a little newer.  We thought it was just meant to be.  We just knew that Ruby would be as good to us as Bessie had been. 

There is this thing that happens to most adopting families once they start their journey to adopt...things all of the sudden just decide to break or quit working.  Ask a family that is adopting and believe me they will have some stories.  It is the battle that is raging that we feel but just can't see with our eyes.  We know that God is for the orphan and the enemy is not.  He is a lion who prowls around looking for who he can devour.

Well, tonight it happened to us.  Ruby decided that she was going to start having some issues.  Two years ago when we were planning our first trip to Uganda, Ruby's transmission went out.  Needless to say, most of the money we had been saving up had to go to repair her.  Tonight, I was over her.  I wanted to take her to the scrap yard, only we can't because we need her. 

As tears started to fill my eyes, all I could think about was how unfair it is that we are having to spend money on a hunk of metal when there is a little girl we love waiting on us.  It isn't fair!  I am happy to say that I didn't stay there long.  I was quickly reminded of my devotional this morning.  I read the passage where Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers.  The verse that stood out to me was when he tells his brothers what was intended for evil God can turn it into good. 

So that is what I am going to focus on...my God can bring good from this.  I will press into Him and take it one step at a time. 

Adoption Update

This week we sent this picture to Brenda.  We want her to know that we miss and love her very much! 

We have some news regarding our adoption of Brenda...

It appears that we are having to start over again.  What that means is that we are having to find a new lawyer, get an investigation done, and get all our documents notarized again.  It was a little hard to accept this at first.  We believe that we have found a new lawyer to work with and are looking for an investigator.  Luckily, I have all of our documents still in my notebook from our trip to Africa so it will not be too difficult to get that portion done. 

The most challenging part that lies ahead is the fundraising.  The money that we had raised last year was spent on lawyer fees, airfare, lodging and immunizations.  So, we are pretty much starting over again in this area as well. 

I loved what I read this week written by Beth Moore.  She wrote that when you have a mountain in front of you to ask God to move the mountain or to give you the strength to climb it so you can see His transcended glory.   

We know that money is not an issue to God since He owns it all anyway.  So we are just trusting Him to show us what we need to do to get our girl home!

There have been many days over the last several months where we have felt like quitting.  This has been a really long, hard journey.  But without exception, every time we have felt that way shortly after we have received some type of confirmation to keep on going.  And probably the biggest confirmation we have received is her name.  In Uganda, you are given a name that has meaning.  It may have something to do with how you were born, the season in which you were born, etc.  Brenda's birth name is Tibihabya.  Can you guess what it means?

Her name means...WHATEVER HAPPENS NEVER QUIT!

Did you just get goose bumps?  I still get them every time I say it. 

Only God knew that the name given to her on the day that she took her first breath, would be the encouragement that two people living half a world away would need to continue in the fight before them to become her parents!

An Update

"I miss her" was the whisper of my heart to God as I sat listening to the Suubi tribe sing at Dollywood.  Tears began to sting my eyes as I tried to blink them away. 

Everyday I think of her, but somedays I miss her so bad that my heart physically hurts.  And when I am around another child that shares her same accent and ebony skin, well my heart hurts for her. 

We are still waiting and it is not easy.  I want so badly to get on an airplane and go get our girl but I know that is not possible.  So, we continue to wait.

Over the past few months we have wanted to give up and say enough, but every time we have that feeling God sends some sort of message that we are to continue on.  Just a few weeks ago we were once again at this point.  There has been no movement in our case and it really just doesn't appear that there is going to be any.  I had shared with my family, through tears, that this was the hardest thing in my life I had ever done and that I just wanted to give up but I felt that God was saying to continue on.  A couple of days later, we received a picture of her through email.  We can't give up! 

I can't close my eyes and pretend she doesn't exist.  She is real and the reality is that there are thousands more little precious faces just like her in need of a family to love them.  And my response is "well I'm here let me love her, but the reply is wait!"

 And so we will continue to wait because the story that God is writing it bigger and better than anything that I could dream up.  After all we are here for the glory of His renown and I want my life to exclaim His glory!

Trust

Have you ever had a recurring theme running through your life?

Maybe a lesson that you knew for sure that God was trying to teach you?

The recurring theme, the title of the lesson plan in my life is TRUST! 

As I look back at the events in my life over the last couple of years, it is plain to see.  I can almost hear the question being asked "Do you Trust Me?"

My quick answer would be yes, but upon examination it appears that I hesitate quite a bit.  Things scare me and cause me to want to draw back.  I have tendencies like a two year old and I want to throw fits when things don't go how I had planned.  I want to give up when dreams become to heavy to continue to carry.  And yet it is in all of those moments and so many more that I hear the question being asked..."Do You Trust Me?"

A couple of weeks ago I boarded a flight to Houston with my daughter.  I was excited about our trip and wasn't too concerned about the flight.  Once you fly for seventeen hours, a two hour flight seems like a piece of cake.  That was until I looked at the weather forecast and saw that there were thunderstorms in Houston waiting to greet us upon our arrival.  I need to let you know something about me...I do not enjoy flying.  The actual flying part is not too bad, it is the turbulence that causes my hands to sweat and my stomach to knot up.  So when I saw thunderstorms in our flight path, I began to pray.  I asked God to calm the storms and smooth out the air.  (This prayer started days before our flight.)  As we boarded the plane to leave, my daughter and I grabbed hands and prayed for our trip.  We talked about God creating the wind, so He certainly had the power to calm it.

The flight was a little bumpy but not too bad until we were about an hour out of Houston.  The attendants had just given us our drinks and crackers.  Then the pilot comes on and informs us that it is about to get rough.  We were told to hold on to our drinks and tray tables.  I had a death grip on my coke and tray.  I was praying and trying to remind myself that I was the adult and needed to hold it together.  My daughter fell asleep which I was so envious of her ability to just catch some zzz's.  It got BAD!  We were swaying from side to side and bouncing up and down.  I did not like it ONE BIT!

In the midst of this patch of bad air, my prayers changed.  I was no longer just asking for the air to be smoothed out by Creator God.  I began to cry out to Abba Father saying "Daddy, I'm scared!  I don't like this!  Daddy, please make this stop!" 

In about fifteen minutes, the air smoothed out and I wanted to lay in the floor and cry.  Not because I was scared of flying but because I knew what had just happened.  I had just gone through a lesson in trust.  I had to come face to face with one of my greatest fears.  I had to trust that He was in control and that He had me tightly in his grasp. 

That was a couple of weeks ago and today I am still trying to really learn this lesson.  I am weary from waiting.  I know all the good christian things that I should say and more importantly that I should be doing, but if I'm honest I am just worn out.  We had hoped for news of progress to come this week from Africa and yet what we got was more of the same.  The report is still not done.  It could be a week or two or three or four... you get the picture.  I so want what God wants for me and my family but it is really hard to continue on when there is no end in sight. 

I read a devotional about Abraham yesterday.  It was out of Genesis and was the passage where he was instructed to sacrifice Issac.  I read the whole passage and was really struck at how Abraham was able to walk up the mountain.  How was he able to put one foot in front of the other and continue on to face the unimaginable?  What was running through his mind?  What questions was he asking?

Those are all questions I am still thinking on today.  Abraham was just a man.  He was not super human or anything.  What did he possess that gave him the strength to continue to walk when you know he wanted to run the other way.  The answer is that he trusted God.  He trusted the promise that God had made to him.  I want to trust God like that.  I want to trust Him when times are hard and relatively easy.  I want to trust without hesitation.  I want to press on when everything in me wants to run the other way. 
A trust like that requires that my feet are firmly planted on the truth  The truth of who God is and who I am as His adopted daughter.  It also requires that I fix my gaze on Him and not the circumstances around me.  Knowing this, I have to think that as Abraham climbed the mountain he wasn't thinking of what he was about to do but rather Who he was about to worship!

Reaching

In one of my last posts, I shared how I am trying to live just focusing on today and not what may be in the days to come.  Well, I stink at it! 

I can't even do today!  That was the main cry of my prayer yesterday.  "Lord, I can't even do today but I can do right now, this minute."

I don't know about you, but I am so thankful that God doesn't dust His hands off and say enough.  I am thankful that He doesn't give up on me, that I truly am a work in progress. 

I get up everyday with such good intentions to focus on Him but before I know it I am knee deep in my circumstances either trying to make something happen or worrying about what might happen.  I need those blinders that they put on horses so they can only look straight ahead. 

This week in Jesus Calling, it said that to try to grasp hold of anything other than the hand of God is disasterous to your soul.  In my mind I visualize it as grasping something and then having it run through your hands like sand.  And yet, I still reach for it.  I still reach for any bit of control I can have.  I still reach for things that appear so appetizing to me even though I know there is no substance there.

I know this is the lesson I am to learn from the events in my life over the last few months.  My life right now is not in my control and that is driving me nuts.  I can't focus on The Hand that I should be grabbing hold to for being so focused on other things.  Help me Sweet Jesus!

I was so challenged during Bible Study last night by Paul's opening statement in Ephesians 3.  I will go ahead and tell you that I never really give a whole lot of thought to the greetings.  I read through them quickly to get to the rest of the passage.  Well last night God stopped me at verse one and I really didn't hear much else of what was said because I was having my own internal lesson.

Ephesians 3:1 states "For this reason I, Paul, a prisoner of Jesus Christ for the sake of you Gentiles"

Paul was writing this from prison...talk about circumstances.  Paul's focus is what struck me.  He doesn't say I'm a prisoner of the people that actually imprisoned him.  He has a much grander viewpoint and states that he is a prisoner of Jesus Christ.  His focus is not on his earthly circumstances.  He is not sitting around focusing on how he is locked up.  He gives no mention to that.  But what he does mention is that when we become a follower of Christ we die to ourselves and we give our lives to Him.  We are in essence His prisoner.  And no matter what our circumstances are we are serving The One who has a grander plan and purpose. 

That is so hard to live, so very hard.  I stink at it.  It is not in my power to do it, but when I die to Laurie and grab hold of His hand it's possible.  It's the only way! 

The great news is that His hand is outstretched just waiting for us to grab hold of it.  So stretch your fingers and reach for it.  He will never, ever let go!

Leave me a comment letting me know your thoughts on this.  It's always good to know we are not alone in our struggles!