How this came to be...

I realized in looking back at my blog, that I had not really told how this idea of adoption all came to be.  So, here is my story...

As most of you probably know, last October Cliff and I went on our first foreign mission trip.  We went with Pennies for Posho to Uganda, Africa.  Pennies feeds children at 10 (now 11) orphanages and quarterly they make trips delivering food.  We got to visit 8 of the orphanages and witness the food truck pulling up and the people being so excited. 

On Monday, October 31st we hopped on our bus and headed out to visit an orphanage three hours away.  Actually it is only about 45 miles away but due to the roads it took us three hours to get there.  We were greeted by children cheering and waving at us.  They could not wait for our bus to stop and for their visitors to get out.  The greeting is overwhelming.  The children are amazed by our pale skin and want to touch and hold onto us.  They have prepared a program with singing and dancing for us, so we take our seats under a big blue and white stripped tarp that they had stretched out to shield us all from the sun.  I was very thankful!

I took my seat in a white plastic chair.  Cliff was sitting in a row behind me several chairs over.  The children began to gather and sit as closely as they could.  A choir of school children came in and began singing.  They were very good.  I had a beautiful little girl in a red dress sitting in my lap.  I have since learned that her name is Hadijah.  She was a village child and did not go to school.  I knew this because she did not have on a uniform.  I was listening to the singing and looking at the children sitting on the ground.  That is when I saw her; so small and so cute.  I motioned for her to come to me and she did.  I scooped her up in my lap and I hugged her tight.  She stared at me and gave me a half grin.  Her skin was flawless and the color of dark chocolate.  Her eyes were a deep shade of brown.  She sat in my lap for the rest of the program. By the end, she had rested her head on my upper right arm and began to rub back and forth on my forearm.  I savored every second of it and thought to myself..."if she only knew what she was doing to my heart!" 

The program ended and the school children were called to go eat lunch.  One meal a day, posho and beans, no variety no choice.  The sweet little girl jumped down from my lap and headed to have lunch.  I began painting fingernails.  She came back around and I got to paint her fingernails blue.  After painting nails for a couple of hours, we gathered all the children to pass out sweeties.  Each child got one dum dum sucker.  It was such a treasure to them.  We were told to start getting on the bus since we had a long trip back to Jinja.  I scanned the crowd looking for her.  I hesitated to get on the bus.  I wanted to see her just one more time.  I wanted to hug her again.  But I didn't get to.  As I took my seat on the bus I continued to look out the windows for her.  I fought the urge to scream her name.  Tears began to pool in my eyes.  I tried to blink them away but it did not work.  They spilled forth onto my cheeks.  I felt like I was leaving one of my own behind. 

I can not describe that feeling I had for her adequately.  In reality, I only spent a few hours with her but in my heart I knew that she was mine.  There was an instant connection between us.  She was comfortable with me and as she laid back against me, I believe God was doing a major knitting job on both of our hearts.  I wrote in my journal on that day that I believed God knew I wouldn't be able to tell her goodbye so that is why I couldn't find her.  I also wrote that I believed that I had not seen her for the last time. 
Her face was etched in my mind and for the rest of the trip she is all I thought about.  We came home and the adjustment back into our life was very hard.  I felt guilty crawling into my king size pillow top mattress knowing that earlier in the week I saw a 103 year old woman who had been sitting on the floor for so long that she literally looked like she was melting into it.  Why did I have a bed and she didn't?  I felt guilty for having a garden tub and hot water.  Guilty doesn't even begin to describe how I felt the first time I had to throw uneaten food into the trash can.  I cried for what seemed like months.  I couldn't really even talk about my trip without crying.  I knew God did not take me to Africa to make me feel guilty but I really wasn't sure what I was to do with my experience. 

Christmas came and went and a new year began.  In Janaury, I was on my laptop reading about someone's experience in Uganda and decided that I would google the name of the orphanage that we visited on October 31st.  Much to my surprise they had a website.  I devoured every work on their website and decided to sent a note on their contact page.  The next day, I was checking my email and I had an email from the Pastor of the orphanage.  I thought my heart was going to leap out of my body.  Cliff was equally as excited about everything as I was.  I started emailing back and forth with the Pastor.  We emailed photos of our time there and asked about 3 children we met, one being my very special little friend named Brenda.  We learned that two of the three were not in school and that my special little friend was an orphan. 

We prayed and decided that we wanted to sponsor these three to go to school.  We got that arranged and we felt good.  This took a couple of months to get it all arranged.  Meanwhile I am following and hearing stories of these Uganda children who have come here to school.  My favorite story was when they took the little girl to Walmart to get her a new brush.  They are on the brush aisle and the little girl bends over and begins rubbing her head on the brushes to try to pick out a new one.  She did not realize that she could pick the brushes up because the reality is she had never had a choice before.  The other story that got me was about the child eating dinner in her bicycle helmet because she was so excited that she had a bike she wouldn't take her helmet off. 

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was sitting in my bathtub thinking about these children and Brenda.  I started thinking...Is it fair that Brenda may never have a choice of a hair brush?  Well no, that is not fair.  Is it fair that Brenda will never have a bike?  Well no, that is not fair either.  Is it fair that Brenda will likely never sit in a big bathtub full of hot water.  My mind started racing with tons of questions and the answer was always the same.  And then in my spirit, the question changed from "is it fair" to "can you live with it?"  I knew immediately that I could not live the rest of my life and not do anything to make life better for Brenda.  I went and told Cliff about how I was feeling and God had been stirring in him too.  We began praying about what we were to do and then decided in April that we would ask the Pastor of the orphanage his thoughts on adoption.  We prayed that if God would open doors then we would be obedient to walk through them.  We all believed that this was God's plan for her as well as us.

In June we started telling others of our plan and sold watermelons to help raise some money for her adoption.  In July we completed our homestudy.  In case you don't know, completing a homestudy in a month's time is nearly unheard of.  We made our initial contact with the social worker and had our completed approved homestudy in a month!  In August we mailed our I-600a form.  In September we got fingerprinted.  And it looks very likely that we could board a plane in October to go get our little Ugandan princess.  I'll have to keep you posted on that one...

So that is how this adoption thing came to be.  When we went on the mission trip we had no intention what so ever to expand our family.  We were complete.  God had blessed us with a son and daughter and we were beyond grateful.  Adding to our family was not anywhere on the list of things to do in 2012.  But boy are we really excited that it was on God's list for our family.  Max and Amelia are as excited as we are about welcoming Brenda into our family.  They truly amaze me! 

So check back for new developments in our story.  Can't wait to post that our final approval is received and a court date is scheduled!

Only God!

Nineteen years ago as a newly married twenty year old, God was speaking very loudly to me and Cliff.  At the time, we thought God was calling Cliff into full-time ministry and me as his ever supporting ministers wife.  I remember sitting in a service at my home church, the one just months earlier I had walked down that center aisle, and feeling God speaking so loudly to me.  As soon as the invitation was given, I found myself kneeling at the altar.  I uttered a very simple prayer that day.  I prayed, "God I will do whatever you want me to do, whenever you want me to do it, and whereever you want me to do it!"  I could barely see through the tears that flowed.

As I stood to go back to my seat, I remember fear gripping my heart.  The reality of what I had just prayed, and meant, hit me like a ton of bricks.  And so out of a heart of fear, I reasoned that I would probably be on the next plane headed to Africa!

Why Africa?

Well, it represented the farthest place I could think of away from my family and friends.  And for some reason it was the first place my fearful little heart thought of. 

Last year as I prepared for my trip to Africa, I was flooded with the memories of this time in my life.  I found it very funny that God was sending me, eighteen years later, to the very place that scared me so badly.  Only this time I wasn't so scared. 

Well fear tried to grip my heart again, the day before I left.  I remember sitting on my love seat in my living room and thinking to myself "tomorrow you are going to get on a plane, fly for 16 hours and be in Africa!"  I began to panic.  My blood pressure was escalating  and by the time I picked up the phone to call my friend I was in full on panic.  The only works I could get out through the tears as she picked up the phone was something like "do you know I am going to Africa tomorrow!  Do you know how far away that is from my children!"

I am reminded of these moments now as I wait with much anticipation for a lawyer to send us notice in the coming months telling us it is time to come back.  My fear has been replaced with a great love for this far away country.  Who knew that the place that caused me such fear would be the place that my heart longs for.  Who knew it would be the birthplace of my second daughter?

God knew!

Nineteen years ago it was no coincidence that my mind immediately thought of Africa.  I believe it was the beginning of God preparing me for what was to come.  The beginning of God planting in me dreams that I didn't even know how to dream. 

Isn't He wonderful!

I am reminded today of Isaiah 55 that talks about our ways not being His ways and our thoughts not being His thoughts.  I am reminded that He knows my yesterday, my today and my tomorrow.  He knows that we are on a need to know basis because if He unfolded the whole canvas of our lives, it would probably paralyze us with fear. 

So I enter today with a thankful heart.  Thankful for a God that orchestrates my days.  Thankful for a God whose plans are beyond what I could think or imagine.  Thankful for a God who takes a surrendered heart to places it never dared to dream nineteen years later.

Have a blessed day!




P.S.  I thought you would enjoy knowing that nineteen years ago instead of being on the next plane to Africa, we actually boarded a plane to Texas.  Cliff was in school there for a year and then we returned home.  Guess what great blessings God brought into our lives from the great state of Texas...my two precious children!  Now that brings a smile to my face!

Where We Are In The Process

Tonight we put together bunk beds in Amelia's room.  She was so excited to finally have bunk beds and get to sleep in the top bunk.  It hit me when I went back into her room and saw the new bed that we are adopting a little girl from Africa!

Not a day goes by that I don't think about her but actually making room for her in our home just makes it so much more real.  And then the more I thought about it I just wanted to cry because while I have a comfy bed waiting on her, the reality is that she went to sleep on a red dirt floor tonight.  Oh how I can't wait to tuck that precious baby into her new bed!

So, I thought I would give everyone a quick update as to where we stand.  We have completed our homestudy and are waiting to get the finalized report showing we are approved.  We should have it any time now.  Once we have our homestudy in hand, we will send the I-600 form to the goverment.  This form is a "petition to classify an orphan as an immediate relative."  The time frame for this approval is six to eight weeks.  As part of the petition, we will also be given an appointment to go get FBI fingerprints done. 

Once we have the approval from the I-600, we will mail our dossier to our lawyer in Uganda.  The dossier is a lot of papers that are required by the courts.  We will be working with our lawyer during the six to eight week waiting period so that we have all the required documents ready to be mailed when the approval is received. 

And then we just wait for our lawyer to notify us of our court date.  The courts in Uganda close down mid November through mid January.  When I asked our lawyer, he seemed to think that we could get a court date before they close. 

So that means that we are hoping to have our newest little member of the family here by Thanksgiving. 

We appear in court for the Judge to grant us legal guardianship.  That day at court, the Judge will give us a verbal ruling.  Some Judges also give you a written ruling that same day and then others make you wait a week to 10 days for your written ruling.  We have to have the written ruling in order to get her passport and visa. 

From what I am hearing now, the passports seem to be causing delays.  I know of families that have been there 8 weeks waiting on a passport.  I'll be honest and admit that that scares me.  But every case is different and I know that God is in control!

Once we have her passport and visa, then we will fly home and be greeted at the airport by lots of you because my daughter is already planning for the big airport celebration.  She informed me today that everyone would have a balloon and that she would probably be too busy organizing everyone to take off running to greet me!

So there it is in a nut shell! 

We have seen God do so many amazing things along this journey.  I look forward to sharing them with you soon.  I wanted to close by listing some things we would really like you to pray about with us:

1. Pray for Brenda!  Pray that God will prepare her for us and prepare us for her.  She will experience so many firsts, please pray that she is not too overwhelmed.
2. Pray for us - Cliff and I will travel together, but he will not be able to stay the whole time (unless God works a miracle and this all happens faster than it ever has before!) so that leaves me and Brenda together alone in Uganda.  PRAY!
3. Pray for our lawyer.  We believe that we have picked him but pray that he works with great ethics and diligence.
4. Pray for the Judge that will hear our case.  The person who will approve her passport.  The people involved in getting her visa.  We are praying for things to go smoothly.
5. Pray for our I-600 to be approved quickly. 
6. Most of all we just pray for God's will in this situation.  As I stated earlier, He has brought this together and is in the details.  Our prayer early on when we felt God nudging our hearts towards adoption was "if You open doors, we will continue to walk."  It is a total trust thing because we can not do this! 

Thanks so much!

Showing Love to Orphans

This Valentine's Day, we are not celebrating with cards, chocolates and gifts. This year, Cliff and I have decided to celebrate our love for one another but most importantly our love for God, by buying a mattress for an orphan.

After returning from Africa, one of the biggest problems I had was living in all my abundance while knowing so many were living with nothing. Poverty was no longer just a word, it now had a face and when I closed my eyes it was their faces that I saw.

I kept asking God what I was suppose to do. I am a doer and I like to get busy doing things. But being this far away I just wasn't sure what I was suppose to do. So I continued to pray.

A few weeks ago, in a series of random events that can only be described as God, I got in contact with the Pastor at the church where my sweet little Brenda is living. I was able to find out more information about Brenda and her situation. We also learned more about Jack, the boy that Cliff had a special connection with. And through my emails with the Pastor, God answered my prayer of what I should do to help those in Uganda.

New Hope School of Orphans, located close to Kenya, had money donated to them through Pennies for Posho to build an orphanage. They are actually building a dorm where the children will sleep. The building will be completed this month. They have the bunk bed frames, but no mattresses. When I heard this, I knew exactly what I could do to help.

So, Cliff and I are raising money to buy 70 mattresses. In the orphanages, it is rare for a child to have a bed of their own. The reality of the situation is that 2 or 3 children sleep on one twin bed. In fact, at New Hope School of Orphans they will have 70 beds but have 298 children.

I would like to give you the opportunity to change the life of a child in Uganda. For $31 you can purchase a mattress for a child. Basically if our family of 4 gives up eating out just 1 meal, we have $31.

We will be giving the money to Pennies for Posho. In April, they will be traveling to Uganda and will purchase and have the mattresses delivered to the school.

If you would like to purchase a mattress, make your check payable to Pennies for Posho and mail it to 85 Emerald Hills Lane, Newnan, Georgia 30263. We will send all the money over to Pennies.

This is a picture of Jack and Brenda at school.

Do you know what I noticed when I saw this picture of Jack? He is wearing the same clothes that he was wearing the day we met him. Do you know what the reality is for Jack...those are the only clothes he owns.


God Bless You!

Passing by Crazyville!

I headed into the Christmas season saying that this year things were going to be different. I wasn't going to get all crazy and busy and hectic and fly right through Christmas. While this was my goal, yesterday I realized that I was headed straight into Crazyville!

I am kinda embarrassed to admit this, but yesterday I actually was sitting in my car thinking that I needed to write a Drive Thru Rule Book. Oh, yes I did!

I had a deadline looming over my head and I was on my way home and stopped to get a quick bite. The restuarant was crazy busy with the drive thru line wrapped around the building. As I sat waiting for my turn to order, I noticed that someone up ahead was causing a delay. And then I started thinking that I needed a rule book to hand them so they would not cause anyone else's blood pressure to sky rocket. Here are a few of my rules:

1. Always looks straight ahead
2. Never talk on your phone if its going to distract you from looking straight ahead
3. Get your money or card out while continuing to look straight ahead
4. The drive thru line is not the time to clean out your back seat, unless you can do it while LOOKING STRAIGHT AHEAD!

Were you able to pick up on the theme of the rule book?

Luckily I was able to get back to reality before I set up camp in Crazyville because no one wants to spend Christmas in Crazyville.

Do you know what happens in Crazyville on Christmas?

Well, the mayor of Crazyville gets you busy doing all this stuff that really isn't important only at the time you are doing it all it seems like the welfare of Crazyville hinges on you doing all this stuff. And then you wake up on December 26th and you realize that you missed it. You actually missed Christmas.

Oh sure, you were physically present for the events, but in your heart you totally missed the meaning of the day which is JESUS! And unfortunately, that is the mayor of Crazyville's whole goal. He wants to get you so distracted that you don't focus your heart on Jesus because he knows that life, hope, forgiveness, love, freedom, redemption, peace and joy are found in Jesus!

Oh Jesus, thank you for leaving the glory of Heaven and wrapping yourself in human flesh. Thank you for being born of a virgin to ultimately hang on a cross to pay the price for my sins. Thank you for offering me life and for pursuing me. Help me to focus my heart on You alone! Praise your Holy Name!

Maybe I'll Try Out for the Circus...

This week has been a juggling act for me. I had gotten really good at it until today and for some reason when that extra ball went into the air, well I just felt like everything was about to come tubbling down!

Do you have days like this?

You know, the kind of day where sitting in the floor crying seems like the most logical thing to do!

Yes, yes that was my day today.

As I was on my way to fulfill my volunteer duties at my children's school, I grabbed my cell phone to call my husband. I reasoned since I felt overwhelmed he should at least know about it. He answered the phone and without me saying a word said "Can I call you right back?" Which is code for "I have a customer in my office and I can't talk right now."

As I hung up the phone, I knew in my heart that God had planned it that way to teach me a valuable lesson. My first response shouldn't be to call my husband, mom, sister, girl friends or anyone else that will listen. No, my first response should be to cry out to the One that can actually help me.

Today I needed to be reminded that while I may feel overwhelmed at times, God NEVER feels overwhelmed.

I love back in Exodus 3 when Moses is talking with God and he says to God "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, `The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, `What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

And God's response is so awesome! "God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: `I AM has sent me to you.' "

I really am trying to contain myself from shouting because I am so excited! (It's late and everyone in my house is sleeping!)

Do you know what God was saying here to Moses and that He is saying to us today? Basically He is saying that whatever we need, well He's that!

You need healing...I AM the Healer!
You need forgiveness...I AM the Forgiver!
You need peace...I AM Peace!
You need comfort...I AM the Comfortor!
You need love...I AM the Lover of Your Soul!
You need victory...I AM the Victor!
You need freedom...I AM the Freedom Giver!

You need ? ........ I AM!

Rest in knowing that there is not a need, circumstance or situation that can arise in your life that God can not meet. Oh, how He loves us!

A Heart Like His

Last night we had the opportunity to share with some of our friends about our trip to Africa. We shared our pictures and videos and told some of our favorite moments. Tears were shed because neither one of us can really talk about Africa without crying.

Before we left, my friend said to me that I looked so happy in all the pictures. And I was! I shared with her that none of the pressures that we face here are really prevalent there. I took four outfits and was gone ten days. (Yes, I washed my clothes) I wore the same outfit on the plane ride there and then also on the plane ride home. So I had three skirts to wear the rest of the time. There was no standing in front of the closet stressing over what to wear.

I also went all nat-ur-el with my hair. I have very curly hair that I flat iron every day. I had let my hair grow out preparing for my trip so I could keep it pulled back. I did not have a hair dryer, hair gel, mousse or hair spray. My pony tail plan did not work out because my hair looked all crazy. So, I would go to bed with a wet head and wake up in the morning and just have to go with it. And you know what the kids loved my hair. It was wild and crazy and they loved to touch it and I loved for them to touch it!

I did wear a little makeup because as my childhood pastor used to say "every old barn looks better with a fresh coat of paint." And I'll just be honest and say that I do feel better with a little blush and mascara. What can I say, I am my mother's child!

My happiness, that was evident in the pictures, was not because of what I looked like on the outside but rather what was shinning on the inside. As Beth Moore likes to say, "there is no high like The Most High!" James 1:27 says that pure religion is caring for the widows and orphans and keeping oneself clean from the world. I have never felt closer to the Lord than when I was in Africa because I knew I was doing the will of the Father.

I want to encourage you that are reading this to busy yourself doing the will of the Father. We as the church, the bride of Christ, have the priviledge and responsiblilty to care for the orphans in our world. No matter what you do to care for them, the blessing you receive far out weighs any effort you put into it.

God has sealed Africa in our hearts. Not a day goes by that I don't think about those sweet babies and all the other wonderful people we met. We love it and can't wait to go back. We want to go back next summer and take our children. Please join us in praying that God will provide the funds we need to be able to return. I know nothing is impossible for my God!

Couldn't you just eat this sweet baby with a spoon!