I Did Survive!

I have the song playing in my head, "I will survive" only I changed the lyrics to "I did survive". I give all praise and thanks to God because it was not nearly as bad as I envisioned it to be. If you are just tuning in, my daughter had a tonsillectomy last Friday. I had prayed that it would be very uneventful for her and I praise my Heavenly Father for answering my prayer!

Here are a few things that I learned this week:

1. A tonsillectomy can change your voice. Don't ask me the medical indications of this, but just trust me that it can happen. I miss my daughter's normal voice because what replaced it is very high and squeaky.
2. I need more PATIENCE! I learned this by early Saturday morning after I had fixed every soft item I knew how to concoct. The problem was everything was yucky!
3. Eating a MEGA bag of Almond M&Ms is actually helpful because you need extra energy to get up and down oh at least 100 times per hour.
4. The Doctor calls my daughter secretly because she had some Doctor's orders of her own!
5. There is nothing sweeter than your daughter some how being soothed just by your presence.
6. The cuddling on the couch is totally worth the 100 times per hour that I had to get up and down.

I have been very sentimental this week. I guess because I was needed so much it reminded me of the "baby years". My baby will be six in just a couple of weeks and oh Mr. Time I do wish you would slow down! I know it is hard to enjoy the getting up during the night, bottles, crying and diaper changing but they do pass by so quickly. Unless of course you are going through it right now and you think you will never be able to bathe or go to the bathroom by yourself again. You will and all too soon you will be looking back and wishing you could hug and cuddle them one last time.

My son, who is eight, and I were having a conversation this week on the way home from school. He informed me that one day, when he got rich, he would be moving to San Diego, or maybe Dallas, or maybe Australia, or maybe Europe. He wasn't real sure yet but he thought he might go back home to Texas after all that is where he was born. My mind started to wander off to thoughts of what he might be one day. And then I thought "God, what if his desire to travel is really a passion that you have given him because one day he will be a missionary." Playing in the background was the song Yours by Steven Curtis Chapman which I just love. And it hit me that Max and Amelia aren't really mine to keep forever. They are God's and He was gracious enough to let me be a part of their lives. I got a little misty eyed as I drove home. And a lot convicted that I have got to make these next 10 years really count because all too soon I will be waving goodbye as they head off to college.

Heavenly Father - Thank you for the priviledge of motherhood. Nothing in my life has changed me more or made me realize my need for you more. There are many days that I wonder what I am doing and I thank you for your grace that sees me through those days. Lord, please help me to be the mother that you designed me to be. Please help me be the mother that my two children need me to be. I praise you and thank you for the blessing of my children. ~Amen.

It's T-Day!

We survived the tonsillectomy this morning. Amelia has done well but has not felt very good today. She has been really hungry but not able to really eat anything. It has been hard to watch her not feeling so great today.

Last night as we were tucking her in the bed, she grabbed my hand and with tears in her eyes said she did not want to have her tonsils out. Let me just say that this mama can take alot, but I can not take my baby being scared. It took everything with in me to hold back the floodgate of tears that wanted to break free.

I talked with her and told her that having her tonsils out was really what was best for her. I explained that even though she might not feel very good for a couple of days that she just had to trust us that this was best for her. I was saying all of this while trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

As I walked out of the room, the Lord spoke so softly to my heart. It was as if He was saying to me "that is exactly what I was trying to explain to you over this situation or that circumstance. You have got to trust me that I always know what is best for you." It has never been more clear to me. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to trust the Lord when you know the days ahead are going to be tough and painful.

Here's Hoping We ( I ) Don't Go Crazy!

Today is Tonsillectomy Eve and I am dreading tomorrow like the plague. My sweet Amelia is having her tonsils removed tomorrow morning. All she knows is that it feels a lot like Christmas because she has been getting sick presents all week. All I know is that tomorrow around lunch time she will feel very differently about this whole tonsil ordeal.

I am not one that likes to be house bound so my main concern is for my own sanity. By Monday or Tuesday I may be needing some kind of surgery or shock treatment myself. Just kidding. Of course she is my main concern but my sanity does rank a very high second.

I am excited about all the milkshakes that I am going to be making and I would be lying if I said I was not already planning on enjoying a few myself. You already know that I have eaten a whole MEGA bag of Almond M&M's so why wouldn't I wash it down with a milkshake? Every woman needs lots of calcium! Haven't you seen the commercials?

Now, I would like to share a few random things with you.

My son is not the neatest most organized child in the world and I feel that it is my duty to help him in this area. It is not unusual to find one dirty sock in the dirty clothes hamper and the other sock under the bed or in the closet. I was explaining to my son how important it is that both socks make it to the laundry basket so they can be washed together and then folded together. This was his response "You're the one that matches up all those socks, that must be hard."

Finally someone feels my pain!

I would like to share more random things that have happened this week, but my husband keeps coming and announcing the time to me. So, I better wrap this up and go get some kids in the bed. Tonsillectomy Day starts early!

If Lovin Chocolate is Wrong Then I Don't Want To Be Right!

Lovin chocolate has been my motto for about the past week or so and I think I have probably over done it! I started the week by being my own valentine and treating myself to a bag of M&M's with almonds. The bag may or may not have had the words MEGA written on it. My thoughts were that the nutritional value of the almonds totally make the chocolate part okay. And the more almonds the better hence the necessity for the word MEGA.

Oh, I am so weak when it comes to chocolate. It is my love language. Add some carmel or peanut butter to it and my heart skips a beat.

Well, enough about me and chocolate. We had a lot of fun celebrating our luv for one another this year. On Friday night there was the Daddy/Daughter date night that my sweet little 5 almost 6 year old dreamed about all week. She woke up on Friday morning eager to pick out her clothes for her "date" night before heading to school. Earlier in the week, my husband had asked for my help in finding something really special for him to give our daughter. I thought a ring would be nice. So I was at Walmart and saw a cute little ring with a small diamond in it.

I use the word diamond loosely. It was probably more like a diamel. It was so small that a microscope would have been needed to identify it. But I reasoned she is 5 and since it only cost $28 we would not pass out if she lost it. And I mean really, how sweet it is that your first "real" ring comes from your Daddy.

I am 35 and still very much a Daddy's girl. So I got misty eyed over the sentiment.

Well, not knowing her size I opted for a 1 since she is a little petite thing. My husband was concerned that the moment would be ruined if it did not fit. So how could we know if it fit without her knowing about the ring.

So, I came up with a brilliant idea. I would wait until she was asleep, then I would go in and try the ring on her finger. I tip toed into her room, pulled her hand out from under the covers and slipped the ring on her finger.

I smiled and thought to myself "man, you are so smart." Then I gently pull to slide the ring off, only the ring does not budge. I try again and nothing. I wanted to panic because what was a brilliant plan has gone really wrong.

"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?"

By this time my daughter is moving her hand and starting to make whinning noises. So I start to pull again. My daughter begins to cry and I try to calmly say "shhh, go to sleep." Finally after much pulling and much crying the ring comes off.

Who came up with this idea anyway?

Well, guess what? The next morning she did not mention one single word about it. Apparently she is multi talented and can cry from having her finger pulled off with out ever waking up. What talent!

So, I ended up returning the ring and my husband found her one all on his own. He got her a silver ring with her birthstone in the shape of a heart.

Before going on their date he gave her his present. The store had wrapped it for him and put it in a really pretty bag complete with a stuffed teddy bear fairy. She was so excited.

She ripped open the package and pulled out the ring box. She was even more excited. I was getting misty eyed all over again. What a moment!

She opened the box and says "I have always wanted one of these...!"

My husband smiled with pride and then she finished her sentence "I have always wanted one of these boxes!"

Oh yes, she was way more thrilled with the little box than the ring. Isn't that how it always goes!

I AM!

You can tell from the date of my last post that I have been absent for a while. I have been in this odd place for about the last week. A place that I don't really enjoy. I guess you could say I have had "the blues". I would like to say it is hormones, but I don't really think that is what it is. I think I have let the world get to me. News of more people I know loosing their jobs, loosing their homes, families in turmoil, businesses closing their doors...honestly I could keep going but I think I have made my point. It has just gotten to me.

The bad thing is I don't even really know how to pray about all of this because it is just too overwhelming. Well, tonight I heard the lyrics to Nicole Nordeman's song I Am and God just spoke to my heart. No matter what is going on in our worlds God is the great I AM! He always has been and He always will be.

God is greater than this world!

Hallelujah! Praise His Holy Name!

So, I want to tell you today that no matter what is pressing in on you, if you are a child of God's, you have the great I Am on your side. There is nothing that you will face, not today, not tomorrow and not next week that will change this. And do you know what else, He is everything you need Him to be...Encourager, Healer, Comforter, Friend, Dream Keeper, Strong Tower, Faithful Friend, Provider, Daddy, Creator, Peace, Hope, Strength...

Dear One, He tells us in His Word that in our weakness His strength is made perfect. If you are feeling weak and frail today, know that you can rely on the power and strength of Jesus Christ.

Below are the lyrics to I Am. I hope they will speak to your heart like they have to mine.

I Am

Pencil marks on a wall

I wasn't always this tall,

You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,

You watched my team win, You watched my team lose,

You watched when my bicycle went down again,

CHORUS:

And when I was weak unable to speak,

Still I could call You by name,

And I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,come if You can,”

And You said “I am”

Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at ten PM

You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break

Heard when I swore I’d never love again

CHORUS:

When I was weak, unable to speak,

Still I could call You by name,

And I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,be my Best Friend”

and You said “I am”

You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight,

I said forever to what lies ahead

Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream

Too much it might seem when it’s two AM

CHORUS:

When I am weak, unable to speak,

Still I will call You by name.

"Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,hold onto my hand,"

and You say “I am.”

The winds of change, and circumstance blow in and all around us

So we find a foothold that’s familiar,

And bless the moments that we feel You nearer

Life had begun, I was woven and spun,

You let the angels dance around the throne,

Who can say when, But they’ll dance again,

When I am free and finally headed home

CHORUS:

I will be weak, unable to speak,

still I will call You by name

"Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer,Comforter, Healer,

My Redeemer,Lord and King, Beginning and the End"

"I Am, Yes, I Am.”